Thursday 24 June 2010
work itt ouut
Gym gym gym :)
Going there pushes me even more, all those skinny gals sweating it out around me, I get all competitive! I guess that can only be good though.
Didn't have breakfast so was running on empty,
just had a cup of oatmeal and plan to drink liquids for the rest of the day.
: D
Wednesday 23 June 2010
It begins
So, I guess the first thing to naturally say would be,
hello :)
Gradually over the past few months I have come to terms with a few things;
-It may be wise to assume I won't get much taller than my current 5"8, so in short, things may start growing in other directions
-I am no longer "skinny" as I seemed to be, in my keen "extra curricular sports activity" days. Since hitting my exams there just isn't the time.
-Some things need to change so I can finally look in that dreaded mirror and smile!
I've always had a strange relationship with food, some days I can't get enough of it; I binge to the extreme and chuckle away that "you only live once!" in the process. The next day I have a better relationship, I may not binge, but I eat ALOT, but this could be a salad and then come 7:00pm, out comes the ice-cream! But this routine of "healthy eating" and, "oh stuff it!" always follows with the two hours in utter disgust, cradling my bloated stomach, asking myself; "why?"
I really do hope this might sound familiar because I am steadily loosing my mind!. Until the last few months, this was my routine, until something changed... Only slightly, but I found myself reaching into the fridge and just saying no. It started with this, and then gradually I found myself clutching at a water bottle constantly, avoiding parties or bbq's and throwing away my dinner in the bin in my room.
I'm unsure of this new sensation, but I don't think I want to let it go. I don't think I have an ED, I mean, I'm the girl everyone assumes will order dessert... but I need to finally get some control over this one thing in my life.
Inches, by inches.
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