New ideas

Just been reading through a fair few blogs and had that sudden rush of intense determination.

I'm going to set my self a goal- instead of simply saying; "I want to be skinny", I realise there has to be a sense of achievement along the line, because no matter how thin I hope to get, it'll probably never be skinny enough for my high standards.

So this is it; I currently weigh about 133lbs and am 5"8.

In ten weeks time- I want to weigh 120lbs- that's about a stone in weight loss.

I don't know if it can be done, but I'm sure as hell going to give it my best try.

So, phase 1-

From now until 8:00am on thurs morning, fast. That's around 35 hours. I'm going to permit myself any drink- excluding smoothies!

The next two days: thurs and fri will be sub-500 days. Also, as much exercise as possible at all times.

Wish me luck... god knows i'm gunna need it.

xxxx

Finally!

Just had three gruelling days of work and now I don't have to return for three days. Seems like nothing, but to me that's three days of freedom- and no co-workers breathing down my neck at lunch time.

I made £90, that's about 140 dollars for you Americans. Sweeeeeeet!

Only thing is, and get this...

I work in a cake shop. I know right; possibly THE worst job!

There's the constant whiff of fresh cake wafting around the shop at all times; not to mention chocolate by the bucket load. And then there's the stream of chirpy middle aged women who waltz through the door with either a huge smile across their face and the squeakiest of high-pitched enthusiastic voices, or there's the women who walk in, and you just know, right then and there, they're going to be hell.

xxxx

So yesterday i saw my grandparents for the day, and we had a picnic...

Its so much harder to avoid food when you're around people who constantly offer you cake and cookies and persistently say when you accept;

" you've always had such a good appetite", and, "I don't know where you put it all you know",

Uhhhh, hello! Have you seen my thighs?!

Anyway, I had a depressing intake of about 700.

Today has been better. My mum had a meeting downstairs this morning. I always hate that whole awkward initial introductory moment, when you don't know whether to just say hi, shake their hand or engage in a full blown conversation. Needless to say; its not really my thing. This was a great excuse to clean my room top to toe all morning and have a bit of an organisation sesh- which I love! So far intake of 120 calories. But, I have yet to face dinner.

You see, my mum isn't the kind to make us all sit to the table and eat, we happily sit in front of the tv most nights, but she seems to watch me like a hawk if my plate isn't wiped clean;

"Are you feeling alright?" is her usual question, but there are only so many times I can play the ill card.

Hopefully, when I go back to school I can eat in my room again, which she usually lets me do if I have lots of work.

Anyways, today I decided to post a bit of my own thinpiration; so my girl of the week is the one and only Alexa Chung-

Target

I seem to have little spurts of motivation these days; this week was meant to be my "detox" week- I'm talking, constant flushes of green tea and icy water, no meat, basically vegan but in smaller amounts, and of course, plenty of exercise.

Sadly, things haven't panned out at all that way- on weds I consumed 4 krispy cremes consecutively; and I'm not talking the plain ringed ones, I'm talking the ones dipped in chocolate, sprinkles and icing sugar and filled with custard, cream and jam. It was a major downfall.

So now, onto better things.

My next big mark is a festival at the end of August- three weeks from now.

Enough time I hope to make a visible difference. I aim to be rocking the daisy duke shorts and wellies with the most amount of confidence I can achieve.

Wish me luck!

xxxx

long time, no see ana

Wow, I cannot believe its been more than a month since my last post.

In short, its been rough.

I finished my exams, which meant endless drinking games and tables of party food besides all my friends. Along with this I just got back from a three week holiday in Spain. Now, although i can modestly say I am rockin a bit of a tan, which is awesome, in such a short amount of time, i have gone completely off the rails.

The only good thing I have in mind is the fact I have four weeks left of freedom, which means four weeks of no school hours, no pestering friends constantly, and four solid weeks of redemption! I'm getting excited at the thought of it all ready.

Is it ironic to say that I am positively craving hunger?

xx